Hi everybody. Welcome to my blog where I talk about my past.
I’m highly irritated right now because I have no transportation to my doctor tomorrow and my wheelchair is broken. so I’m in a bad mood. And because I’m in a bad mood I’m gonna talk about my past. That always seems to lighten things up.
I used to travel a lot. I mean a lot. I was on the airplane about once a week. It was crazy. Well, the flight attendants disliked me. I guess I was kind of a dick. I’ll explain. I think I told you this story before, but I was traveling from Santa Fe to NYC. I had a really cool leather lampshade. It was in a bag and I was in first class. I put the lampshade carefully above, but the flight attendant said I had to check the lampshade. I looked at her and I said, “You’re kidding, right?” And after a few minutes of arguing, I said, you know what, it’s not a fucking lampshade. It’s a fucking hat, and I wore it all the way to New York. I mean who could argue with that?
Another time, I had to travel from LA to Sydney. It was a 14 hour flight so I had a sleeping pill to got there and a sleeping pill to come back. I got the pills from a model I worked with. She told me, whatever you do, don’t take more than one pill and don’t drink any alcohol. Well, I got on the plane and after we took off I dropped one pill. Some time went by and nothing So I took half the second pill. Nothing. So I did a few cognacs. Next thing you knew I woke up to the sound of us landing. The guy next to me, a business man, said, “Mate, I thought you were dead, you didn’t move for 12 hours. I had to check the pulse on your neck.” Well a flight attendant came by with a tray of water. I wanted water and tried to reach out for one but my arms didn’t work and my voice didn’t work. I looked like something out of the horror movie The Mummy. I drank a bunch of water and the flight attendant stayed well clear of me.
I’ll tell you one more story. I’m sure I told this a while back. When I was sitting in first class, I kept drinking champagne and then I started sending champagne back to my friends in economy. My friends were in the bulkhead, right behind me. I was passing my champagne through the curtain that separated first class form economy. Well, the flight attendant didn’t like this. I said I was in first class, I can do what I want. Well, she didn’t like that ansewer either. We had a bit of a discussion and then kind of ignored each other. About an hour went by and I thought it would be a good time to get my friends some more champagne.. Well, as I turned to give my friends champagne, my foot went out into the aisle and the flight attendant tripped and champagne glasses went everywhere as she fell to the floor. It was truly an accident. I swear. I didn’t mean to do it, but she thought otherwise. She started yelling at me and said, “I’m gonna write you up.” I didn’t know what “writing me up” meant, but I guess my name is out there somehwere.
That’s all for now. I’m gonna share some photos from my past. It always cheers me up to look at old images.
Love and miss you guys. Love, B. Nice
