Welcome everyone to the blog where I talk about the past.
Now, I know I’ve told you this story a long time ago, but it’s in keeping with the holidays. I used to get hired by several different catalogues to do their holiday catalogue. I usually shot the catalogue around August. It was always a challenge, but I kind of looked forward to it. I say it was a challenge because, first of all, it was in August, and second of all, I had to make fake snow look real. My instrument of choice was always the potato flakes. They were good for the environment and also worked well with a fan and the right shutter speed on the camera. I usually shot somewhere where there were expansive fields and pine trees. Or in a house. Now, what I’m about to tell you, you might want to cover your kid’s ears. I found if you’re shooting in a field and cows wander up onto your set, you end up with some strange abstract set. Let me explain to you. Cows and potato flakes don’t mix well. If a cow eats a lot of potato flakes, it gives them diariah and makes them cough at the same time. Not a good look. My set looked like some strange art installation mixing holiday spirit and cow - you know - stuff. When we rolled up to the set in the morning, the art director was mortified. I thought it was kind of funny.
So, bottom line, if you use potato flakes to make fake snow, don’t let cows walk onto your set.
You know how they say most families are dysfunctional around the holidays? Well, actually, I think my photographs were dysfunctional. I created images that no one could live up to. It made me feel guilty. I mean, I would do stuff like drive a 1957 red station wagon down the road with christmas lights on it, and a tree on top of the car. It looked creatively good, but come on, how was that real? Am I getting too deep? Maybe I’ve been at home too long.
I don’t know why, but I just want to tell you a story that a girl told me about a long time ago. Now I’m going back to the dysfunctional family thing. Well, this girl was at home for Thanksgiving and she was having a hard time dealing with her family. Her sister in law suggested that she take some xanax that the sister in law had. Well, it was way too much xanax. In the middle of the girl’s conversation, she passed out and fell into her mashed potatoes and gravy.
That’s it for this holiday. Have a Merry Christmas everyone.
Love, B. Nice