Hi everybody. Welcome to my blog where I talk about my past.
I’m blogging to you at my house, outside, on a beautiful October day. It’s unusually warm, but it’s beautiful. My friend here reminded me, she said, “Remember when we were kids? It’ll be freezing next week. It’s always cold on Halloween.”
I’m gonna dedicate this blog to a photographer I worked for in NYC. The guy was like a 70’s rock star with boundless energy. It always amazed me how much energy this guy had. I learned a lot from him. But the guy was kind of like a wild animal.
Now, speaking of animals, I’d like to tell you about wild animals from my photoshoots. The first story is about a cat. I was in Mexico on a photoshoot. We were in an amazing house. The house came with a cat. It was a cool cat and my art director loved it. So my photo assistant thought it would be wise to put a piece of tape on the cats tail. Well, the cat was running all over the house. It was freaked out. The art director was not amused, so the next day the art director got some cat food and crackers. She served it to us and said to us, “Would you like some pate and crackers?” My assistant, who was always hungry, said “Thank you,” and took a bite. He said, “Oh man Brian, this is bad pate. Don’t have any.” I guess that was her revenge.
The second story is about a horse. I was on a photoshoot in Napa Valley, CA. We were shooting at a fancy horse farm. We were shooting inside at the stables. We took a break after a few shots. While everyone was in the location van getting ready, my assistant decided to have some pistachio nuts. A horse at the stable was curious so my assistant decided to give the horse a pistachio nut. Well the horse looked like something out of the show “Mr. Ed” - a famous ‘60s black and white show where a horse talks like a human thanks to peanut butter. The horse made a choking noise, stretched out his neck and quivered his lips. The horse’s eyes went back and his ears went back. I said to my assistant, “Great! You just killed a $2M horse.” The assistant freaked out, but the horse was fine. He recovered and after, we gave him a beer. Just kidding. The horse was fine.
A third story is about a llama. Well, I should clarify what I said. I said llama, but it was really a spitting llama. I won’t repeat what the model said when she stood next to the llama. It was all pretty funny. Feel free to use your imagination.
The fourth story is about a parrot. I would always shoot at a resort in the Bahamas. The resort had a parrot at the front desk. I think the bird always recognized me. Anyway, we thought it’d be fun to teach the bird how to swear. We were gonna be there for two weeks. Well, we finally got the bird to say “Shit.” He was screaming “Shit” every time he saw us. That was pretty funny.
The fifth story is about a cow. Now, whatever you do, never feed a cow potato flakes. You see, I used to use potato flakes to imitate snow. I once decorated my entire set with potato flakes to imitate snow. Well, a cow got into it, actually a few cows. It got indigestion from the potato flakes. I won’t go into it, but the set was pretty nasty when we showed up the next day. Yeah, potato flakes give cows diarrhea.
And the final story is about a dog. It’s actually about my dog. I used to bring my dog with me all the time. I told you this story before, but I had to shoot a cover for a bridal magazine. The stylist had a Harry Winston necklace brought to the set. The necklace came with an armed guard. It was very expensive. While the model was very happy to be wearing the necklace, I took it off her and put the necklace on my dog and photographed her and my dog for the cover. The model was not very happy. And my friend here, just asked if they used the picture - and yes, they used the picture of my dog wearing the necklace for the cover.
I’ve got so many more stories about animals in my shoots. One story is about an angry aggressive baracuda, another story is about a big ass shark, another story is about a baby and mother whale in Mexico. There are many more, but I won’t go into it. I’m gonna enjoy this nice fall day here, with my friend.
Check out these photos from the past. We’ll put them in gallery form.
Love and miss you guys. Love, B. Nice
