February 6, 2015

Hi you guys, welcome to the blog where I talk about the present. It's presently sunny here, but man, it's cold. Another snow storm is coming. I've been locked up in this house for like 3 weeks. I'm getting cabin fever and the dog is talking to me. Just kidding. I am getting cabin fever though. And let me tell you, stress definitely affects you when you have traumatic brain injury. I'm gonna leave it at that. Not much has changed, just ready to go for another cross country trip. I'll talk to you guys before Valentine's Day, but I hope you have a great week. I'll leave you with some photos and a link to my blog where I talk about the past. Check it out. It's kind of funny. Love, B. Nice

Oh yeah, a family friend asked me to do a portrait on the porch of my parents. Kind of cool. See you next week. Love, B. Nice

January 31, 2015

Hi. Welcome to my blog where I talk about the present. I'm gonna do things a little differently. I'm gonna mix the past with the present. Above is a photo I took of me at the beach one day. I used to drive on the beach with my dog. I picked out a good place on the ocean to windsurf. I would pick out a nice fiberglass board, you know, like 8'6", and go out on the ocean in the waves. It was total freedom. Very much opposite to how my life is right now. I mean, people have to feed me, shower me, carry me into bed. Let's just say, it's much less than total freedom. When you have a traumatic brain injury you basically turn into a stone, a stone that eats and shits. I am getting better though. I have a therapist coming twice a week to teach me how to feed myself. You know, become a little more independent. It feels great. Going back to windsurfing, cause I love to talk about it, windsurfing got me back into surfing again. Let me tell you when you're on a board going through waves, big waves, they don't seem so big when you're standing up. But when you're on your belly paddling on your surfboard, a big wave looks humongous. I guess that's kind of like life right now. It all depends on how you look at things and how you approach them. That's my profound thought of the week.

You know, it's been really cold here. I've been inside a lot. Having someone take you out of the house just for a couple of minutes helps a lot. And if someone takes you out to, let's say lunch, it helps so much. Otherwise you get a little cabin fever. Just an observation.

One other thing that's been happening is I've been getting more and more of what I call moments. I guess you could also call them auras. But they are different. They're shorter. So I guess that's a good thing. I've also been waking up feeling remarkably different each day. Like, today I feel like hell but I feel very focused. It's bizarre. Remember, you just go with the flow. Don't freak out.

That's about it for this week. Not much else to report. Oh yeah, one other thing. I keep waking up in the middle of the night wanting to put on a dress and some heavy make up. Just kidding. I wanted to see if you were paying attention. Talk to you next week. Love, B. Nice

Here's a link to my other blog.

January 23, 2015

Hi you guys. Welcome to another week of traumatic brain injury. I'm gonna dedicate this blog to my team. You know, it was my birthday the other day and my team got me to another birthday. When you're in intensive care, you really need a team to get you through it. It's a lot of hard work and you can't take any short cuts. You know, in life, there are no short cuts. I'm gonna be profound here for a moment. Like when I ran track & Field. Sure you can take short cuts. Skip a work out, or shorten your runs by taking a taxi. But in the long run, you'll pay for it. You'll get halfway through a race and get blown off by everyone else thinking, "Oh, I should have done those workouts." See what I'm saying? You can apply that to life as well. For example, when I was in the ICU, you know, you really had to work hard at just breathing. It can be a problem if you take a short cut. See what I'm saying? A good team will help you get through everything. I had a good team, and I dedicate his blog to them.

You know, I took a week off at the gym and after going to the gym for the first time in a week, I'm really shaky. I feel totally out of it. I guess, you know, by missing just a week, it really takes its toll on you. You gotta stay busy and active. Just an observation. You know, I do have what I call "moments." They're more and more often but shorter and shorter. I call my neurologist and they say, "What do you want to do?" again. I feel like I should change my name to guinea pig. Once again it comes down to either increasing the medication or meditate. I choose to meditate. That and get some strippers. Just kidding. I wanted to see if you were paying attention.

Not much else to really report. I've been having a hard time sleeping. I always wake up at like 4 am, freaking out. But I guess it's all part of the process. I can't get back to sleep so I think about drawings I'm gonna do. I'll include one here. Here's my link to the past, you know stuff I used to think about. Have a good week. Love, B. Nice

P.S. Remember, I couldn't even hold a paintbrush before. Now I can at least hold a paintbrush.

January 17, 2015

Hi you guys. Welcome to my blog where I talk about the present. You know, next week, next Wednesday is my birthday. I'm not sure if that's good or bad. Either way, it should be fun.

I'm gonna keep this short because my internet went down and I had to hardwire my laptop to the cable. I don't want to drive my friend here crazy.

Not much to report. Still working away. It's been you know, like five years. I don't know, I lose track of time. It all seems to blend together. I just keep plugging away. I got a book from the library. It's pretty cool. It's called Chicken Soup for the Soul. It's all about brain injury stories. I highly recommend it. It's good to have someone read it to you if you can't get to a support group. It goes through stuff like how long it might take for you to get better. Plateaus, you know, stuff like that. They seem to emphasize having patience. You go through ups and downs. It's all very helpful.

I'm gonna keep it at that. You know, it's been a long week. I'm tired. Here's my link to the past, I mean stories from the past. Hope you guys have a good week. I'll include some photos of what I've been doing. Talk to you next week. Love, B. Nice

January 10, 2015

Hi you guys. Welcome to the blog where I talk about the present. My friend and I were sitting here talking about something stressful and it reminded me of something. It reminded me that even when you're stressed out you have to think of something funny and it reminded me of this. I think I told you, but I'll tell you again, cause it's funny.

My father's friend came over from the church. She's very nice but very conservative. She had a plate of cookies. A nice gesture. Anyway, she was standing there talking to my father and our little dog ran in. He's a small poodle mixed with a cocker spaniel. You know, a small dog. Well, he promptly sits down, looks at my father's friend and jumps up to stick his snout right in her crotch. He took a deep breath and ran away. We were all mortified. It was actually a bit awkward. The cookies were good though.

You know, sometimes I wonder if I have mini moments when I'm sleeping, cause there seems to be a never ending cycle of getting better and going back to square one. I mean, sometimes I wake up and it's hard to move my arm properly. Sometimes I wake up and it's difficult to speak. I eventually warm up to be semi-normal, but I'm getting tired of this shit.

On another note, I was watching the cheerful news (I'm kind of sarcastic here). They were talking about Paris. You know the whole terrorist thing. I really wanted to do a cartoon, but you know, I can't draw cartoons anymore, so I'll share with you what I was going to draw. Now imagine this: imagine a paramilitary person pointing a rifle (AK 47) at another person, an artist. Well, the artist says, "Wait, wait! All I have is my pen and my life. I'm just an artist. A cartoonist." And the terrorist says, "Oh, I'll take both." I can't draw cartoons anymore so you'll just have to use your imagination. I draw. It's a bit abstract though.

That's it for now. The New Year, we still have some lights up. It's bizarre I have a hard time looking at Christmas lights. I guess it's because they are highlights and the rest is dark. It's hard for me to look at. Just an observation. With brain injury you never know what you're gonna get. I'll talk to you guys next week. Here's my link where I talk about the past. Love, B. Nice

P.S. The first image on top is a card from my friend who lives in Paris. And the painting behind it is from my daughter and father.