Hi everybody. Welcome to my blog where I talk about my past.
Ah, relationships. My friend here reminded me that she’s made it to 30 years of marriage. She deserves a gold metal. But I’m gonna dedicate this blog to relationships. I’ll tell you one reason why my brain exploded.
When I first moved to New York I started dating a young woman who was a model I worked with frequently. She was very cool. The only problem was, she was bat-shit crazy. I explained to my roommate, I was going to break up with her. And in his heavy French accent he said, “eeef you're going to do this, you should do this in public.”
Well, in my infinite wisdom, I decided to have this conversation at my favorite restaurant. Now, you remember, New York restaurants in the 90’s were tightly packed. They were pretty much elbow to elbow with the table next to you. (I’m just setting the atmosphere here.) Well, we sat down, we had a nice meal, and I brought up “the conversation.” I said, I don’t think things are working out between us. She stood up and said, “Oh my god! You’re breaking up with me!” The whole restaurant went quiet. She yelled at me, “No one breaks up with ME!” (I almost said, well there’s a first time for everything, but I wisely didn’t say this.) She said, “You know what, I don’t accept this. Let’s go home.” I sheepishly followed her out the door. She got in the cab and I threw the cab driver 50 bucks and said, “Go Go Go.” She looked out the back window and I didn’t need to lip-read, but they said something like, “You mother fucker!” I went back into the restaurant and the maitre’d said, “You have unusual dating habits.” I drank a lot of tequila that night.
I saw her on the street one day, and she was staring at me. She walked up to me and just stared at my face. That was rather awkward. What I took away from this was, never say, “There’s a first time for everything.”
Love, B. Nice
