September 19, 2014

Hi everybody. Welcome to another week of traumatic brain injury recovery. I'd like to dedicate this blog to all the volunteers that have been helping me.

I mention volunteers because I went out for a bike ride with Burke hospital. There were volunteers there that helped me a lot. There were also volunteers when I went to Helen Hayes. It's pretty cool. They volunteer their time to help you out. I am very impressed.

There's so much to tell you. I don't know where to start. I mentioned I added another day to my water therapy. That's been great. It helps with the walking so much.

My friend who's doing a documentary on my recovery, he came up the other day. The film I did when I crossed the country is almost done. It was great to see him again. We went over some of the images I shot and he reminded me what a great trip it was. You know, life does become therapy. Just the simplest things help in your recovery. Looking at the film he shot reminded me how important it is to do what you love to do. And I love photography. It really picks me up. It gets me through the rough stuff. Speaking of rough stuff, oh man, I've been having a tough go. It seems like my body is waking up more and more. I said it before, but I'll say it again, it's bizarre. Things are a lot clearer. My vision is a lot clearer. I went out to Montauk, my home town, and I think I don't like what I see. I see this as metaphor and reality. I guess things do change over 7 years. You know, it's strange. It's like I'm in a time machine. I picture things as they were, and for me to go back and, like my old neighborhood, for me to go back seems difficult. Hard to describe, but it's not easy. I say sarcastically, just another fine day of brain injury recovery. It was funny. I was talking to my daughter on the phone. I think I might have said this before. I was talking to her like she was 2 and 1/2, you know, when I went into the hospital. There was a moment of silence. She said, "Dad, I'm not a baby. I'm grown up." Pretty funny. You see, kids are a good gauge of time.

I'm already planning my next big adventure to Europe. It's good to have goals and my goal is to be walking with a walker by the time of our departure. So I basically set a date that I'll be walking. I guess it's put a little fire under my ass and it gets me going. For example, I use my machine, the Up & Go, to help me walk. I use it every day and I stand every hour. It's a lot of hard work, but it will get me to where I have to be.

I'm going to include a few photos from my road trip and keep this blog short. To look at my other blog, you know, the one from the past, go to the other blog from my website.

Talk to you guys next week. Love, B. Nice

9 September, 2014

Hi everybody! So you want to hear something profound? I wake up every morning around 4:00 am and I can't get back to sleep. Anyway, I thought of something profound the other morning, and it goes something like this: I see the world through the eyes of my father's voice. That in combination with the grit and determination of my mother equals, well, me. That's kind of profound, right? Either that or I've started taking drugs again. And either way, it's kind of true. You know, when you're in this state, traumatic brain injury, your recovery is very important. In other words, I've found you need to be positive, creative, playful like a kid, and laugh about yourself and your situation. It's all very important. My background as an athlete also played a huge part in my recovery. For example, when I would run a race, I would break down my times and try to achieve specific time. It's kind of like now and getting better. You take everything in steps and break it down. For example, just sitting up, you have to imagine a string going from your nose to your chest and pull your head up and then your core engages. You see, everything is in steps. It's all rather tedious, but it seems I have a little time on my hands so it doesn't matter. The point is you have to be patient and do everything simply and slowly.

The other thing that's happened to me this week is everything is getting more and more clear. It's pretty wild. I keep saying this but it's hard to describe but everything is clearer. It's a good sign. It's bizarre because I see everything clear and sharp and then next moment I'll be fuzzy and claustrophobic again. I go back into my, well, I don't know what you call it, my shitty state. I always look forward to the clarity. My friend here asked me if those moments of clarity are getting closer and closer together and they are, but on the down side, my other moments, you know, the bad ones, are getting closer and closer together as well. I go from one extreme to another it seems. It's kind of a drag but it's also good.

The other thing that's cool is I added another day of water therapy to my regime. It's pretty cool because I'm now walking in the deep end of the pool by myself. It feels great. But, I tend to joke around a lot and when I swallow water and almost drown, everyone just laughs and doesn't help me. I guess it's a classic example of the boy who cried wolf. I must remember what the Japanese used to say, "You must work and not fool around Mr. Brian."

The other thing I've been doing is editing all my film from my road trip. I think I told you my friend here put some of my selects on a dvd. It makes the editing easier for me. I remember the strong images. That plus it's fun to see the road trip again.

The last thing I'll really talk about is my painting. I've been painting more and more with my father and other people that stop by. It's fun because their personality comes through in the images. I can see who painted with me. I'll show some work later. It's my way of having fun. That, and shooting a deer from the kitchen window (just kidding). Anyway, have a good week. I'll put a few selects from the road trip. Love and miss you guys. Love, B. Nice

3 September, 2014

So imagine this, imagine on your index finger balancing a marble and then some legos, a bunch of them, another marble. That's what I feel like when I try to stand up. It's not easy, and some days are easier than others. For example, we recently had a heat wave and it seems to have made things real difficult for me, like just standing. It's been hard for me to speak and I have more, what I call "moments," which are probably mini seizures. Other than that, life is great! I say life is great sarcastically. Anyway, I've been looking at different trikes. They are kind of like an adult version of a Big Wheel. I never had one when I was a kid so I guess I'm reliving my childhood. I tried one out and they are a lot of fun. It'll be good to get out of the house.

Recently I've been editing my photos from my road trip. It's difficult 'cause I have to only edit at like fifteen minute intervals. The computer screen makes things uncomfortable for me. So the whole process has been rather slow. But the images look good. I'm happy with it. It's pretty much how I see things. I'll include them later in this blog.

Recently a friend of mine went on a road trip across america. It's good for him, but a bummer for me cause he used to come and rescue me from my self imposed exile. He and I used to go out to lunch. I'm gonna rely on my friend right here to take me out for pizza once in a while. She said possibly pate de foie gras. As long as we have champagne I'm cool with that. Anyway, it's good to get out of the house. I highly recommend breaking things up. It helps a lot.

My friend here is going to put all my selects on a CD I'll watch over and over and remember the strong ones. You see, I edit my film in batches. You know, I did one batch and then I'll edit down from that and then I'll do a final edit. So basically my trip gets edited down three times. It makes it stronger. Anyway, that's about all I have to report. If you want to see my other website, you know, my confessions from the past, you have to go back to my main website: www.briannice.com - just click on the word Blog. Have a good week. Love, B. Nice

August 26, 2014

Hi everybody. So check this out. It's been five years to the week, meaning the past week, that I had my first bleed. I was gonna blog about it last week, but my friend here was on vacation and I can't type. So, since it was five years ago, let's review what I've been going through. Let's see: I had two brain operations, a trach to help me breathe, two stomach tubes to feed me, then they filet'd me to put a filter in over my main artery. That was for the blood clot that I had in my leg. And then, I had two spinal taps. Then there were the two comas I was in. Countless visits to the MRI. Countless visits to the CAT scan machine. I remembered the first time I went to the cat scan. I told the operator I didn't have a cat, but I do have a dog. He laughed nervously and shoved me into the machine. He was probably thinking, "Gee, I never heard that one before." Anyway, going back to what I've been going through: I had like seven visits to the emergency room. Three stays in Intensive Care. Oh yeah, I had an out of body experience. I had four seizures in one go. Then I had two other seizures. Countless other mini seizures. Overall, it's been a lot of fun, but I'm getting tired of this I'll tell you. I won't give up, but I'm getting tired of it.

This week I've been doing more water therapy, and I've been walking again. It's fun. I've been there before, but it helps a lot. I strongly recommend the water therapy. The other thing that's cool is I've been trying out different trikes. It's kind of ironic 'cause they put me on the track to try out different trikes. It's ironic because I used to run the mile at a four minute pace on the track. So, here I am on a bike on the track. Kind of weird.

My friend here has been coming over to try and hook up my TV to my computer. You know, so I can edit my film better. It's difficult to edit on the computer monitor. We almost have it together, but it just takes time. I'm almost done editing my Trip Across America. The shots look real good, I must say. It's gonna make a great book and a great show. Just takes time.

You know, my friend here read back what I've been going through, and I was focusing on the negative things. There have been a lot of positive things to come out of this, like my trip across america. My artwork. Getting to know my friends again. Although, I do miss my daughter. I got a new crazy dog, and I am getting better… slowly. As a matter of fact, this morning I got my eyes to line up. It was only for a brief period, but I did manage to do it. My hands also shake a little less. Overall things are getting better, and it does make me appreciate the finer things in life. It's a bit of a cliche to say this but it's true, you do appreciate the finer things in life. Anyway, I'm gonna end it here to go back to my blog you have to go through my website: www.briannice.com. I'm still working out the bugs, but everything is there. You can visit my other blog by going to this site as well. Have a good week. Love, B. Nice

5 August 2014

Hi everybody. OK, so I want to get something off my chest. It's been really bothering me. For some reason my dog hates, I mean hates humming birds. I mean hey, give me a break. Why hummingbirds? One flies by and the dog goes nuts trying to chase him. The other thing that bothers me is my legs are the whitest legs in the world. They are whiter than my socks. They should call me the human guppy. I guess that's what happens when your inside for like five years.

Hi everybody. Welcome to another fabulous week of traumatic brain injury recovery. This past week has been pretty difficult. I guess humidity is affecting me. Im having a hard time speaking and I get little moments at the end of the day. It's kind of a drag but I work through it. You gotta work through it. I'm gonna make it real short this week cause I have other things to work on. You know, I'm planning our next trip. I'll keep you posted. Check out my other blog. It talks about the past. Here's the link. Hey, if you didn't see it here's my link to the NYTimes article. It's pretty cool.

Love you, B. Nice