March 4, 2014

Hi everyone. I'm gonna call this blog, "Dogs, doorjambs and a steady hand." I'm gonna dedicate this blog to Sauce, Squirrel, Hoser and Tim. Oh yeah, and Adam and Erin.

The first 4 people I named were my track friends. They came by the other day to say hello. It's great when friends visit. It really helps. Adam and Erin were on my trip I did coast to coast. They did a great job.

The other thing is I named this blog, "Dogs, doorjambs and a steady hand."- because I'm a terror in this power chair. How many dogs do I have? Just one, but I should have gotten 4 or 5. The doorjambs are trashed, and steady hand, what's that? I shake so much I could make you an excellent martini. Anyway, never a dull moment. It's all good for Hand/Eye coordination. My poor parents.

The other thing that's good actually is I'm having less and less what I call moments. You know, when I get real stressed and tired I have little moments that leave me really tired. This is happening less and less. You know, every day is different when you have traumatic brain injury. When I wake up, I think, "OK, what do we have today?" It's always changing. Hell, as long as it changes, I think that's good.

You know, I guess I gotta practice what I preach. I gotta stay positive. I guess I have, well, cabin fever. It seems all I do is work, work, work. When I really want to play play play. I guess I just gotta stay positive. There are improvements like, I can roll over and do cobra in yoga. I can lie on my stomach and not freak out. You know these are little things, but I've done this like 3 times. It's all pretty tough, but, you know, like I said, never give up.

Hey, you know, I'm gonna leave you with some drawings I've done. I draw every day. It's good therapy. I like the drawings. They are interesting. Anyway, here they are. Hope you have a good week. Love, B. Nice

Oh! and check out my other blog, it has to do with the past. There's a good story about shit. LINK

February 26, 2014

I'd like to dedicate this to whoever reads this. And it's almost Spring Break. Remember those days? I remember driving up to a hotel in Daytona Beach at the beginning of Spring Break. There were 2 football players holding a naked girl over a pool. She was naked except for a football helmet. Just as we pulled up. They threw her from the 3rd floor balcony into the swimming pool. I thought, is this our hotel? And that was just the beginning of an endless Spring Break. But that's a whole other story. So, check this out. I got my power chair, right? Well, all I need is a white cat, monocle, shave my head and an Armani button up suit jacket, and I'll look like Dr. Evil. As a matter of fact, feel free to call me Dr. Evil for a while. I'm feeling like Dr. Evil, I'll tell you. First of all, I'm trashing my parents house with this power chair. And second of all, I feel like hell. I'm telling you, I'm tired of this shit. My body is definitely going through some changes. Let me just tell you something; when I was in a coma, I remember people talking to me. I could hear. I was only aware of things about 2 feet from me. It was like being in a white out situation. I was only aware of things that were like a foot to feet away. In other words, you could stick me in the broom closet and I wouldn't care. Now, if you stuck me in the broom closet I would say, "What the hell did you stick me in the broom closet for?" In other words, I'm more aware of my surroundings. i guess it's a good sign. It makes you a little more depressed though. It makes you realize that ignorance is bliss. Anyway, I don't want to get too profound on you, so I'll continue with some other stuff.

One of the first things I notice is I get up, I sit at the edge of the bed and I feel like I'm gonna fall. Everything is spinning. But, you know, it's a good sign because I had a really difficult time even sitting up before. I hope the vertigo goes away. The other thing I notice is my hands and feet are real numb. It's more difficult to talk, and my vision is not so great when I'm tired. But I am having no "moments" as I call them. All of this seems to be a sign I'm healing, very slowly healing. I'm happy my vision is getting better. My eyes are starting to register, or, in other words, line up together. I'm very happy about this. You know, because, HELLO! I'm a photographer! Anyway, you know, I'm gonna go to the old blog. My friend here will share the link. I'm gonna tell you a couple of fashion confessions. You know, the old blog is dedicated to the past. See you over there! Love, B. NIce

February 19, 2014

It's a stare off. My dog has my napkin. And I need it because I'm drooling. Every time I try to get my napkin he just growls and runs away with it. But, you know what the saddest thing is? It's the highlight of my day. Man, I gotta get out of the house. My friends came by and brought me to lunch. It was cool and a great break from being at home. I do therapy at home 24/7. It's been like that for like 3 years now. I have one therapist tell me I have to do something that will give me a break. You know something recreational. I tell her I do photography and drawing. That gives me a break. Actually, at 5 o'clock almost every day I do a heart for my daughter. I did a little film of it. Here's the link. http://vimeo.com/86992667 Check it out. My friend, Adam Hall, did the photography and his wife, Erin, did all the production. It was actually a big shoot. It was a fun day. Anyway, check it out.

This traumatic brain injury stuff can be a real drag. You have really bad days and really good days. Just like everyone else I guess. But the bad days are bad, believe me. Right now, my body's going through some weird neurological stuff. I sit on the porch naked screaming like a howler monkey. Just kidding. I am going through some weird stuff though. I would like to just benchmark how I am. It's good for me to look at. I'm having more moments, as I call them, at the end of the day, you know, when I'm tired. I keep getting a weird numbness in my face that moves around. Also, my tongue is numb. It makes it difficult to talk. I'm also very dizzy when I sit up at the edge of the bed. Of course, this is with the help of one of my health assistants. Overall, my body is going through some changes, for sure. I'm convinced it's for the better. Remember, you gotta think positive.

My friend here reminded me that my two photo assistants came by. They were on my trip with me. They did a short film of the trip. It looked real good. I'll share with you guys later. But it looked real good. I'm proud of them.

I've also been working a lot with the Up n Go again. I had taken a little break from it, but I'm back to it. It's a machine that helps you stand up and walk again. It's real good for you, but man, it's tough. I feel like taking a nap after doing that. But it helps. I walked down the hall for the first time in a while. It gives you confidence. It makes you realize, yeah, I'll be walking again one day. One other thing that's been happening to me is I wake up every night around 2:00. I can't get back to sleep. Remember, never think too much. I've been doing too much thinking. It was weird. I couldn't figure out why I felt so strange. Then I realized my legs were out of the bed and asleep. Not a comfortable feeling. At least I didn't fall out of bed.

You see, I have no fashion story to tell today. I think I'll just leave it with traumatic brain injury. But I'm going to leave the link for the other site right here. (http://briannice.blogspot.com) You can read about some other stuff. We'll leave it at that. I hope you guys have a good week. Go sit in a cafe for me. Love, B. Nice

February 11, 2014

Hi everybody. Guess what! It's gonna be Valentine's Day pretty soon, so happy Valentine's Day. I hope you have a great day. I'm gonna attach a heart for you.

My friend here came over to blog and I was driving around my new power chair. It's another milestone. I couldn't have driven it before. It's kind of bittersweet because I never thought I'd be driving a power chair, but it makes me a little more independent. It'll be great for going over to my sister's, and down to the local bar (just kidding about the bar…). Anyway, don't get hung up on the tools. I think I said that before, but it's important. Remember the tools are only stepping stones to help you get better. I mentioned here, to my friend, I'm having what I call "moments." I guess you could say they are kind of like anxiety attacks. They've been happening in the afternoons. It only lasts about 5 seconds, but it could be from the stress in my life, like the power chair, our family friend getting sick, my personal life. You know, boring stuff like that.

I've been visiting our family friend in a sub-acute hospital. It's kind of like a glorified nursing home. I would have been there if not for my parents. Anyway, all the beeping of the machines and the sounds of the hospital were a little much for me. I didn't think it would affect me, but I started getting real anxious. I had to get out of the hospital. Interesting. The other thing I notice is, man, if you have anyone in the hospital you love, you should have someone stay with them 24/7. You really gotta keep an eye on the hospital. It's not their fault. They are way understaffed and way overworked, you know, the nurses and the aides, but you've got to advocate for your relative. I saw them at the hospital try to put our family friend in what I'd call a broom closet. We were all like, "You've got to be kidding me!" Our family friend ended up getting a room with a window. But if it weren't for us, that wouldn't have happened. So, if you have someone you love in the hospital, make sure you stick around for them. At least, get someone to advocate for them. That's just my opinion, and it's also coming from someone that's been in that position many times. You know what? I get kind of bummed out thinking about it all, so let's go over to the other blog. My friend will put the link here, and talk about some fashion confessions.

February 4, 2014

Hi you guys. Hey, I'd like to dedicate this blog to all of my therapists. They've been so important. I'll explain more in a bit.

So check this out. I went to the hospital because a family friend was, well, very sick. I was in the hospital talking to the doctor when the doctor looked at me and said, "What's your deal?" I said, "Well…" I explained I had brain surgery. Mentally I'm all there but physically I'm messed up. I told him I had a slight cough because, you know, it's flu season. Mind you, I've had a flu shot and a pneumonia shot, but I still had a cough. He said, "Brian, OK, off to the ER with you." I said, "What?" He said, "Yup off to the Emergency Room for you to get a chest x-ray." Next thing you know, I'm back in the Emergency Room. Never a dull moment. Well, I had a chest x-ray and everything is OK. I was allowed to go home. Oh yeah, I did get tested for the flu and I did have the flu. Go figure. Anyway, that was a few weeks ago. I'm OK and my family friend is OK. You know, when you have traumatic brain injury, I said it before, but I'll say it again, it's so important to have good therapy. You have to work hard, but therapy is so important. And after spending time with my family friend, I also am reminded that it's so important to have a point person. Someone to look after you while you're in a hospital. You have to have an advocate. Otherwise, you just get lost in the shuffle. The hospital might mean well, but you still get lost in the shuffle. You really need someone there every day, from 7 am to 6 pm.

I'm not sure what to talk to you guys about so I'm gonna have my friend here go in the other room and get one of my journals. Maybe it will trigger a story or two. I know I was going to talk about the present and the future on this blog, but I couldn't resist.

So my friend here went in the other room. She pulled a book about, well, 1997. I was living between Paris and New York. The book went on and on about how happy I was when I lived in Paris. I'll have her include a cartoon or two. The book just reinforces the idea that you should chase your dreams. You see, I always dreamed of living in Paris. And voila! Then I did. Don't be afraid. Just chase your dreams. Even if they seem outrageous. Anyway, I'm gonna leave it there because I'm outrageously tired. I'll include a few photos from my trip. Remember, you're very lucky. This is B. Nice signing off. Love, B. Nice