June 26, 2017

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Hi everybody. Welcome to the blog where I talk about my past.

I wanted to say, “Happy 4th of July,” to everyone now, because I might not get to you next week. I’m gonna tell you why: Children with fireworks; Adults that have been drinking (and using fireworks) – ¬†should be banned . I’ll explain.

A long time ago, when I was a kid (kids can be so cruel), I was playing in a big field with a friend of mine. There was this little kid that followed us everywhere. We called him Shadow. Anyway, me and my friend were up in this field looking for a place to set off our big fire cracker. Well, we found a huge fresh cow patty and thought that was a good place to set off our firecracker. We told Shadow to stand over the fire cracker and make sure it didn’t go out. My friend and I ran and hid behind a tree. We heard, “It’s still going. It’s still going.” and then BanG! Splat. There was cow manure all over the tree, then we came out from behind the tree to see Shadow coming toward us covered in smoking cow shit. That’s one reason why kids shouldn’t play with fireworks.

Another time, I think I already told you long ago, but I’ll tell you anyway, I was having a big party (imagine that) in college. The guy across from us would always call the police on us. He was a real nerd. Real nosy. Anyway, the police came to our party and shut it down. Well, my friend was sitting in the front door and saw the nerd across the street in his doorway. So my friend grabbed a huge fireworks rocket out of my closet (I just happened to have one). My friend fired the rocket right at the guy. The guy dove for the ground screaming. The rocket went into the guy’s apartment and all you saw through the windows was bright colors or Red, White, Blue. Come to think of it, it was probably pretty dangerous.

The last thing I’m gonna tell you was this one time recently. I was doing a photoshoot at my parents house. My first assistant found a firecracker in my old bedroom. He said to me, “Does this thing still work? It’s like a quarter stick of dynamite.” I said, “I don’t know. I guess it still works.” Well, we had a generator under the porch. My first assistant said to the third assistant, “I think the generator is fluctuating. You better go check on it.” So my third assistant went to check on the generator. My first assistant lit the firecracker and threw it under the boards. They went off BANG! The third assistant dove from underneath the porch screaming. I never though a human could jump up in the air from a standing still position so fast. The guy was like a cat. I laugh about it now. The guy probably hates us, but it was pretty funny.

That’s all I’m gonna tell you this week. Have a good 4th of July. Hey, you know what’s pretty cool? Because I see double right now, I see twice the fireworks you do. Bonus,

Love, B. Nice

P.S. Oh yeah, check out my other website where I talk about the present.

June 21, 2017

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Hi everybody. Welcome to my blog where I talk about the past.

I forgot to mention one other thing about my hair dresser friend.

I was in the Bahamas. We had had a few drinks and were out late. Imagine that. Now. my friend the hair dresser, got in rather late. He collapsed on his bed. Now, I like to shoot early morning light so the model was due to show up at his room at 4:30 am. He heard a knock at the door. Got up, in his clothes from the night before. Went to the door. Opened up the door. Now, mind you, he is Greek/Japanese. He opened the door and he said, “You wook fine.” And slammed the door. I’ll never forget. That’s my favorite story about my friend the hair dresser.

That’s all for today. Don’t forget to check out my other blog. Have a good week.

Love, B. Nice

 

June 12, 2017

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Hi everybody, welcome to my blog where I talk about my past. Or, should I say, my sordid past?

Man, I got a bad haircut. I looked like Jim Carey in dumb & dumber. So, what did I do? I called up my friend who I used to work with. I hadn’t seen him in ages, but he agreed to come up and rescue me. You know, fix my hair. It was great to see him and his new family. He has a new baby. Anyway, in my living room, I have my suitcase filled with my journals. There are a lot. You see, I used to keep my personal journals in cartoon form. It’s fun to look back at them. The reason why I bring it up is my friend started to look through my journals and found some things we did together. We had some great trips. I think I told you this already, but oh man, this one time, I was in the Bahamas with my friend and the editor of the magazine we were working with. Well, after dinner, we all walked down on a moonlit pier. The pier was high, like 30 feet high. The editor looked over the edge and said, “That’s a long way down. Kind of scary.” So what did I do? I pushed her in, and then I jumped in after her. I think she managed to say, “You guys are all CRAZY,” before she hit the water. Good thing she could swim. I didn’t even think about that. I still have scars from that shoot. I won’t go into details, but it was fun. Oh, and by the way, on the way to dinner, my assistant and I saw an asteroid hit the earth’s atmosphere. It was cool. It was like a stone skipping across water, then it blew up. It all happened so fast. It was amazing. You don’t see that everyday.

One other great trip we took was in the Bahamas as well. I was on a small plane with my friend and my crew. There was another group of young women. They were really pretty, really petit. I started talking to them. I said, “What’s going on? What are you guys doing?” They obviously looked like they were on a photoshoot. They said they were from Playboy magazine and they were there to do a shoot. I asked a girl what her name was, and she just said her name was Miss June. I thought that was pretty fun. A few days later, she was in the talent contest at the resort. She was singing. And there was my drunken friend yelling, “June, June, June,” right before he passed out.

We did lots of fun trips. I kind of miss the good old days, although I probably wouldn’t have survived them if I kept going at the pace I was going.

I’ll keep it short because it’s super hot here. The heat plus humidity really affect me. Just another bonus for a TBI person.

Talk to you next week. Check out my other blog. Love, B. Nice