April 17, 2017

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Hi everybody. Welcome to my blog where I talk about my past.

Hey everybody. Happy Easter. A belated Happy Easter. I know it came and went, but I wanted to tell you a couple of stories about rabbits. I thought it would be appropriate (or inappropriate, I should say).

I think I told you this story before, but I’m gonna tell you it again, because it’s about rabbits. You see, a long time ago, when I was a kid, we had a cat, a one eye’d cat. It was not affectionate by any means. It was an ornery, mean, orange cat. Well, one morning, I was sitting up in bed, and the cat jumped up on my bed. I thought, wow, how unusual, he’s being affectionate. He wants me to pet him. Well, the cat was stalking towards me and hiccuping. I thought, well, is there something wrong with him? And as he moved closer and closer to me his hiccups became more and more intense. I soon realized he was not hiccuping but throwing up in his mouth. And just as he got within feet of me, he threw up a bunch of baby rabbits. As he threw up he backed away. It was a whole nest of baby rabbits he ate. Nice gift, right? I can still see them all in my minds eye. I won’t go into details, but it wasn’t pretty. You see? He was a mean cat.

Another story about rabbits I think I also already told you: I was in college and I thought, “I’ll get a pet, a pet rabbit.” So I went out and bought a red satin rabbit. It was the largest of any of the rabbits you could buy. It was the size of a small dog. His name was Andrew. Well, Andrew was quite a novelty. Apparently, you can house train a rabbit, but all Andrew did was kick cat litter all over the apartment. He chewed on everything. He pretty much destroyed our apartment. My roommates wanted to make a stew out of him. When I was leaving college, a friend said that he would like to adopt Andrew. He said to me, “Andrew might be a good chick magnet.” But all Andrew did was eat all of his ELO and Kenny Loggins albums. Oh yeah, one other thing. If you ever buy a red satin rabbit, don’t ever put a collar on it and put a leash on it. The thing will freak out. Have you ever heard a rabbit scream? The neighbors must have thought I was a little strange.

The last story about rabbits I have, I know I told you, but I’m gonna tell you anyway. My uncle thought it would be a good idea to go out and hunt rabbits in his pickup truck. They were everywhere and they were a menace. Well, we all got up early, loaded our shotguns, got in the back of the pick up, and set off to better the farming community and rid them of this menace. Well, we drove all morning and didn’t see one rabbit for about two hours. Then, all of a sudden, this little baby bunny came out of the grass on to the road. It was the cutest smallest bunny you’ve ever seen. What happened next? Well my uncle slammed on the brakes and yelled “RABBIT!” We all stood up with our shot guns and blew the beast away. There was nothing left but a whole in the ground. You can imagine what three twelve gauge shotguns can do to a little bunny. I won’t mention what happened to the right side of my uncle’s truck.

That’s all the rabbit stories I have. Happy belated Easter. Check out my other blog where I talk about the present.

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