September 22, 2015

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Hi everybody. Welcome to my blog where I talk about the past. When I was in hospital, man, I had so many tubes in me, I couldn’t move. Plus, I couldn’t move.

Anyway, while I was lying there staring at the ceiling, I would think of things like the following items. I would make up poems. Really bad poems, but here we go anyway:

I was looking for an apartment in New york City. I didn’t know where to begin. My photo assistant Finn was nice enough to take me in.

Finn had a sunny street level apartment that shared a tall brick wall with a night club, Webster Hall.

There was music and bass throughout. It was noisy as hell no doubt.

People would get out at 3 or 4. It was noisy as hell outside my bedroom door.

(I slept in the closet. Finn said it was a bedroom, but I still say it was a closet. ) Anyway, back to my wonderful poem.

One bass-full night, Finn was sitting on the toilet naked reading the New York Post when all of a sudden, from behind the toilet, there came a New York City rat bigger than most.

Finn dove out the bathroom door and landed on the apartment floor. The apartment that shared the tall brick wall with Webster Hall.

Finn stood up and said, “I know what I’ll do with that rat! I’ll get Buster my cat.” He ran up the stairs naked, which is a frightening thought, and came downstairs with Buster.

(I have to make a side note here: if you don’t mind, I’m gonna give my friend Finn a hard time.)

Now, I’m sure the cat was thinking, “Why is this naked man, armed with a New York Post, holding me?” And then I’m sure the cat thought, “Well, he is like, it’s been said, from New Zealand where men are men and sheep are nervous.”

But, anyway, back to my poem:

My friend, Finn, threw the cat in the bathroom onto the floor. Finn quickly shut the bathroom door. There was silence.

All of a sudden you heard a hiss, a screech and a roar. He slightly opened the bathroom door, and there was Buster the cat, standing tall against the wall on the ledge, the tiny ledge of the bathtub. He was like an Egyptian heiroglypic figure.

Finn opened the door further and there was a rat on the bathroom floor, standing up, smelling the air. Finn pushed open the bathroom door and the rat ran across the floor. The rat grabbed a soiled piece of toilet paper and jumped into a hole in the wall. This all happened in an apartment that shared a tall brick wall with a nightclub, Webster Hall, in New York City.

The other thing that drove me crazy was a missing film. I don’t know why, but I lost some of the best rolls. I remember finally what the images were. Like, for example, I was sitting around a campfire with a bunch of kangaroos. This is in Australia. I took out a wide angle lens and just hung out with them. I’m sure the images were great. The roll disappeared. Another time, I was in Japan. It was during the Cherry Blossom season. I went to a cemetery and there were families around tombstones, crying, laughing, drinking, having picnics, all the time the cherry blossoms were falling. It was surreal. Like a dream. I have a couple of other situations where film went missing, but I always remember those moments.

The last thing that always drove me crazy, I think I talked about it before, it’s a whole conflict I’ve had about friends and modeling. I finally came to the conclusion that if it’s your dream, go for it, but just be careful because stepping into that world can be a hazard. It’s very competitive. But, it can open some doors. I know some people who have gone on to be world famous actors, great in business, they’ve done great TV shows (well, some people think they’re great). The point is, it can open new doors.

That’s it for this week. My other blog is at this link. There I talk about the present.

Have a good week. This is B. Nice signing off.

P.S. People always say, “Brian, how can you remember all your old stories?” It’s very simple. It’s all the truth. The truth is the easiest thing to remember.

 

September 8, 2015

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Hi everybody. Welcome to my blog where I talk about the past. You know, one way I used to make it through the day when I was at hospital, I would go through the alphabet and think of stories. For example:

One time I started with the letter “S.” Now I know what you guys are all thinking so I will start with the word “sex.”  I was on an editorial shoot in Europe. I went to dinner with a model and the assistant, my photo assistant. We were making small talk and eventually the conversation came around to relationships. Well, I said I was married. The photo assistant said he wasn’t in any serious relationship and the model, who was from Eastern Europe said, “I’m in a relationship, but it’s kind of open.  Whenever I want to pleasure myself and have sex with someone I want to, I go ahead and do it.” She said all this in a perfect eastern European accent. She looked at me. I must have looked like a deer in the headlights. My assistant looked like he was in the starting blocks of the Men’s 100 meter dash in the Olympics. He was good to go. I was ready to go and hide.

The other S word is the word “scream.” It has nothing to do with the first word, you dirty bastards. It has to do with a sporting event I attended in High School. You see, I used to run  indoor track, and one of the meets brought me to NYC in the Armory. It was the worst track I’ve ever seen. There were basically painted lines on a wood floor. The floor was in real bad condition. Well, they had the men’s 100 meter dash, and it’s a very fast race. The gun went off and they started sprinting around the track. The head guy leaned at the finish, lost balance and fell to the floor. He didn’t slide very far because he basically skewered himself to the floor. The floor was in real bad shape. They had to pull him off the floor backwards. He was full of splinters. It was one hell of a scream. He did win the race though.

The other word with the letter S would be “Sea Sun Sand and Surf.” You see, when I was working as a fashion photographer, the months of December, January, February and March, I would spend my time in places like the Bahamas to shoot summer wear.  Life was like an endless summer for me. I would spend most of my days working at the beach and then go back and surf at night. Not bad for work, huh?

The last “S” work I’ll talk about is “stay.” Many of the locations I went to I wanted to stay longer. They were all great. One place in particular was in the south of France. I was at a spa where they believed in rejuvenation from grape seeds. This included red wine. Lots of red wine. Lots of very good red wine. It was great food. Great wine. A great spa. One night I was sitting in the reception area after a crew dinner. A Diva that you’d know of walked in. You’d recognize her music right away. I won’t say who it was but she was wearing a black cashmere throw, black sunglasses and she demanded to see her room. A few minutes went by when she came back and slammed her key on the counter. She announced she would not be staying at this place. She whipped her shawl around her neck and stormed out. Very dramatic. I guess I’m gonna end here. with the word “Spoiled.”

Have a good week. Love, B. Nice

Here’s my link to my other blog.

September 4, 2015

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Hi everybody. Welcome to my blog where I talk about the past. I had a lot of time on my hands when I was in the hospital starring at the ceiling. Anyway, one time I was in Florida. We were there to train. It was a period in my life when I was on the cross country team in college. Well, we would train all day and then go to an all-you-can-eat buffet. Now the owner of the all you can eat buffet in Florida is used to a little old blue haired lady who might each a piece of toast and be full. Now imagine this. imagine 30 ravenously hungry teenagers descending on an all you can eat buffet. The owners freaked out. We would devour the entire all you can eat buffet. It got to a point where we would go to this one buffet and when the guy saw us show up, he would turn over a sign that said “Closed.”

I’m surprised at the way like 300 pounds. All I can think about is food food food. I miss cooking so much. So I have people cook for me. I’ll dictate the menu and they will cook for me. That’s about it. I don’t feel like blogging anymore. I’m gonna go have some Hagn Daz chocolate ice cream, or an ice cream sandwich. It’s sad. Last night I had a dream about making chicken parmasean. It was good. Talk to you next week. Here’s a link to my blog about the present. And here’s a link about the movie I made with Adam Hall and Erin Hall.

Talk to you next week. Love, B. Nice